What is one surprise that would delight your partner? It doesn’t have to be expensive, but shake the snow globe of brain chemistry. Add some random fun.
When we are associated with fun, safety and attractiveness for our partner (as opposed to… oh I don’t know… frustrated, grumpy, tired), then partner will respond. If negativity has been choking the relationship for a while, partner may at first find it hard to trust, as in thinking you are an impostor. Do it anyway.
Here are some ideas for surprises: breakfast or coffee in bed, candlelight dinner, make a playlist of music you listened to when you were dating; make a valentine in August; give your partner a new experience (novelty = improved chemistry). Be sure the experience is something your partner wants, though. Offer a massage. If you have a little extra money, suggest a getaway. You get the point.
The chemistry of novelty made it all exciting once. If it’s dull, predictable or negative now, you can change that. Stop waiting for your partner to change.
Thoughts and behaviors create the feeling — not the other way around.
Want fun? Be fun.