Falling in love is exciting. Remember your amazing chemistry? What a thrilling, enjoyable, juicy experience that is.
When that feeling fades, the differences between two people can become a source of disappointment and frustration. Depending on communication abilities, couples can hurt each other deeply at this point. The vulnerability of intimacy requires safety. Often, fighting over disagreements violates the feeling of safety and the result is hurt, withdrawal, resentment, and even separation. Couples who were once deeply and passionately in love declare themselves “fallen out of love”, and often divorce necessarily.
There is hope and help for your relationship. There is a way to stop fighting and dramatically improve communication, and restore the connection you once felt with your partner. Imago therapy is an amazing array of tools to help you feel the love and connection that you once had. In all my years of doing therapy, Imago stands way out as the most healing work I have ever seen. From the very first session, the majority of couples leave feeling hopeful and connected again. It’s not just a technique; it’s a new way to love, and feels amazing. My goal in working with your relationship is to restore your connection, eliminate negativity and for you to experience passionate aliveness. Based on the book, Getting the Love You Want, by Harville Hendrix, this therapy may be the single most powerful healing and growth experience I have ever encountered. A few of premises of Imago Therapy:
- Couples fall in love, and experience the delicious, magical chemistry known as "Romantic Love".
- Somewhere between 6-month to 2-years, typically they move into the "Power Struggle".
- It's usually in this stage that relationships end - through divorce / break-up, affairs or other types of withdrawal. Or, a couple may stay together for the kids or other reasons, but feel miserably disconnected from one another.
- The good news about the power struggle is that it's growth about to happen.
- The Imago Therapist helps the couple understand what is going on psychologically, and teaches a set of skills for deep communication. This communication reveals some of the unconscious needs, and seeks to meet them.
- With a deeper understanding, along with honoring each other's needs, a couple can begin to experience the safety, joy, growth and amazing re-connection that is the goal. We call it "Conscious Love".
- Conscious love is intentional. Conscious couples know how to handle conflict, turning it into a juicy connection. They can co-create the relationship they do want, using the tools they learn in Imago Therapy, and / or a weekend workshop. Conscious couples know that their differences can be navigated with respect and ultimately even joy. Hint: you would never get attracted to someone who is identical to you. Yes, there is more about that! Let's talk.