Healing Emotional Wounds

Some people believe that emotional / relational healing is about having each violation cancelled out by a complete and remorseful apology, followed up by amends.  Some think punishment is the path. The more heinous the crime, the stronger the punishment.  Such symmetry would be tidy, indeed.  Who doesn’t long for that, come to think of it?

Others think that healing can only come by cathartically re-living the whole event and expressing strong, even angry emotion.  “Releasing” angry emotion can be cathartic and empowering in some sense, though I would argue that staying in anger only reinforces that neural pathway, and the chemistry that goes with it.  That chemistry can be harmful to your health, and to your relationships.

I believe healing is an internal process — not an event.  Often it is a function of seeing something differently — the paradigm shift.  I think that healing happens when we can allow and receive the desired effect.  You want peace, be peaceful.  Healing requires putting down your weapon which in this case has been anger.