Saying Goodbye

It may be simple, but it isn’t easy.  Life is change, and sometimes that change is loss.  Regardless of denial, or other defensive blinders we may employ to shield us from reality, it’s a fact that we will, at some point, lose someone we love, through death or breakup.  And there’s no sense sugar coating it; it’s sad; indeed.  Survivable, but sad.  Feels like a part of me died with her.  But the truth is, a part of me lives because she was such an amazingly positive teacher.  I just miss her.

I have learned over the years that throwing even the most spectacular temper tantrum does nothing to bring someone back.  It only creates unnecessary drama, drowning out the meaning that is available when we’re consciously open to learning.  Life’s pain or sadness does bring a learning opportunity.

Q:  How will I live without my beloved canine companion?

A:  Consciously, hopefully, and quietly for now.  One day at a time. Going through the motions of walking alone, remembering with a sense of curiosity, all that she taught me.

Remembering does help. Time will also help, I know.

Most helpful is the realization that I can honor her memory through embodying her qualities, like empathy, intelligence, loyalty, playfulness, forgiveness, her sense of responsibility, her capacity for joy and kindness, and most importantly, unconditional love, which makes a positive difference in the world, and THAT thought helps — and heals — alot.

But the bottom line is this:  pain and loss are part of living, just as happiness is.  We need to be able to accept loss, learn from it, and keep moving forward, becoming better because it happened at all.

Simple, yes.  Easy, no.   I live more joyfully because of her; it is now my tribute to her life, making mine more meaningful.

Goodbye, dear friend.  Thank you for being such an enormously positive influence.