The Second Stage

Oh it can get downright painful and destructive. Combat between lovers. We Imagoans call it The Power Struggle. It typically shows up between 6 months and 2 years after you get together. It is reactive fighting. Lizard Brain stuff. That part of our brain, in case you didn’t link over to Wikipedia, is located atContinue Reading

When the Student is Ready…

The day began with the sound of birds, as it often does here in the South. It seems I have slowly settled on a quiet affinity for birds, both in the visual sense as well as their songs. I derive much joy from feeding and watching them, but mostly it’s their singing that resonates inContinue Reading

How to Save Your Relationship

Typically, couples do not seek relationship counseling when things are going well. Often they wait until the relationship is in crisis, completely falling apart before they seek help. The relationship may be in crisis because of some external threat or betrayal of trust, such as an affair. Or maybe the fighting has just become tooContinue Reading

On Depression

I received an e-mail alert that the Dalai Lama will be at Emory later this month, talking about mindfulness, compassion, and the treatment of depression. That should be good, and I hope to go. Depression is a relevant topic, affecting millions of people, causing much suffering. It is also among the most treatable conditions. DepressionContinue Reading

Change your focus, change your life

“When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change”.  – Wayne Dyer When you find yourself frustrated, annoyed, defensively reacting, avoiding your partner, you are focused on the tiny fraction of your life that is negative. What we think about is what we grow.  Negativity is toxic and addictive.Continue Reading

Listen…

It’s not about confessing your partner’s sins.  It’s about speaking in a way that allows your partner to hear you.  As in actual listening. Yep!  Every word… heard. Here’s another hint: It’s about safety. Criticism and demands keep you from being heard and perpetuate pain and frustration. It’s not fun and it doesn’t work, so why do it? BecauseContinue Reading

Behave Your Way into Higher Self-Esteem

How do you feel about who you are? How do you like the way I just put that question RIGHT out there? No sense tip-toeing around it. If self-esteem is the problem, then let’s get to work on it. I am often asked about how to increase self-esteem; so often, as a matter of fact,Continue Reading

Think your partner has changed?

Your partner probably hasn’t changed that much from when you fell in love. What changed, likely, was your experience of him / her. You were wearing rose colored glasses back then, courtesy of Mother Nature’s love potion and your very own endocrine system. When the chemistry inevitably dropped, you experienced things you hadn’t noticed before.   Assuming you were disappointed,Continue Reading

Something is Missing, but it’s not LOVE

So often, it’s not the love that is missing; it’s the loving behavior. Fighting, bickering, criticizing have become the language of everyday life, replacing the joy and love that was once so easy and natural. You may even be considering leaving – not because you don’t love your partner, but you are tired of theContinue Reading

Today and ALL ways, Make Love a Verb

Happy Valentine’s Day! How much do you love your partner? What I mean is, how much do you show your love through your caring behaviors? Do you love your partner in the way that he / she wants to be loved? Remember the platinum rule:  Do unto others what they would have done unto them.Continue Reading

Jeannie Ingram specializes in Couples and Marriage Counseling, Imago Relationship Therapy, Individual Therapy, and Coaching. 

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